I find the whole idea of a Purity Ball deeply disturbing. Essentially, it's a "date" between fathers and daughters where they go to a ball and the girl pledges her virginity to her father until she gets married. Oh, and the father gives them a ring. And they serve wedding cake for dessert. And they have a first dance together. CREEPY.

 

I was talking about it with Chloe in the car this morning, and she was like, "That's for people who are too uncomfortable to talk to their kids about sex." Totally. But I think it would be a lot less creepy to just talk to your kids about sex than to have a fake wedding where you never even mention sex, but just talk a lot about honor and purity. Encourage your kids to abstinence if that's what you like, but at least be man enough to talk about it in a realistic sense.

 

The other thing that I find problematic about this whole thing is that, basically, one of the ideas is that the girls are learning how men should treat them. DOOD. The man you marry should not treat you like your father. End of story. Whether your father was nice or an ass, a romantic relationship is just not the same thing as a parental relationship. Can you imagine marrying some girl with this big of a daddy complex? Uhhh.

 

Sometimes there are cultural phenomenons in America that make it hard for me to believe that we all live in the same country.

 

I'm stealing and idea (because I'm plum out of blog topics for the moment) and listing my favorite products. These are the ones that I consider pretty much perfect, i.e. there may be something better out there, but I highly doubt it and I'm not willing to buy new products to find out.

 

BeneTint - I only discovered this product last May, and I was totally reticent to buy it because it costs 28 bucks. But I submit that this stuff is totally worth it. First of all, I've had the bottle for almost 9 months and I'm not even a 1/4 through it, so it lasts a long time. And unlike most blush, I think it looks natural. It looks like you just went for a light run (except only your cheeks are red and not your entire face) or had a really good makeout session. I also like that it smells like rose petals and can be used on your lips when you want a hint of color but no lipstick. The sheerness of it, the color tint - not sure how it would work for other skin tones, but it's right there for me. I never used to do blush, but I love this stuff and wear it everyday.

 

I like smoky eye makeup, but eyeliner is such a pain. It always smears and comes off within a couple of hours. And liquid eyeliner usually looks shiny and painted on. That's why I love this stuff. It stays in place like a liquid liner but looks softer like a pencil. It's also way easier to apply than typical liquid liner which I usually just end up getting all over the place. Ever since I bought this about 6 months ago, I'm always rocking the smoky eye when I go out. I'm thinking I might need to take a break from the smoky eye just to mix things up, so I recently bought this stuff in Lithograph  (a silvery color that's not on the site). I haven't used it much yet, but intend to start experimenting with it.

 

The only moisturizer I use. My grandma uses the same one. You can't argue with a classic. I like that it doesn't have a strong scent or feel overly oily. It's surprising how many moisturizers smell weird (in my opinion) - I can't really have something strong smelling that close to my nose.

For years, I searched far and wide for the right facial cleanser. I have dry skin and most cleaners would make my face feel itchy and deprived of any and all moisture. Then I found The Body Shop's Shea Cleanser for Dry Skin. They discontinued this awhile ago, much to my initial horror. Luckily, they replaced it with something that is virtually the same product but with aloe instead of shea. Unlike other cleansers, it's more like lotion than soap. Mark finds this utterly apalling and wonders how my skin even gets clean, but it works fine and keeps my skin from overdrying.

 

Again with the dry skin. I tried a lot of different body lotions and most get immediately absorbed by the dry sahara of my skin. When my friend Jen bought me this a few years ago, I was impressed. Cheaper than The Body Shop's body butter I'd been using previously and more effective. Plus, I really like the smell of it - it's yummy but light.

I bought hot rollers on a whim at Walgreen's and this was the only set for sale. There may be better ones out there, but this set works fine for me. Most of the time, I don't actually even use them to curl my hair. I'll put the big rollers in, just 5 or 6, and leave them in for 2 minutes. The result is that the "ionic" factor de-frizzes my hair and the rollers straighten out all my weird hair kinks. I only bought these in September, but I'm way into them and use them several times a week. Sometimes whims pan out well. 

 

A fancy and expensive hair product that I actually think works. Doesn't make my hair feel to slick or crunchy and it's worked on a variety of different haircuts. It's a great multi-purpose hair product.  

 

I pretty much hate Nivea products in general, so it came as a surprise to me to discover a product of there's that I do like. Unfortunately, it's from their lip care brand which they don't sell in the US. I got into the Nivea lip stuff while living in Japan. They have awesome flavors like pear, mandarin orange and cassis. This product seems to fall somewhere between chapstick and balm. It's not at sticky as chapstick but not as oily and heavy as balm. I use it as my chapstick, but it also works incredibly well as an underlayer to lipstick. I stockpile this stuff when I go to Japan or request it from my friend Fumi when I go to Japan. They really should think about bringing this stuff to the US.

 

I found this article a bit odd. I mean, yes, those are things that you should know before marrying someone, but if you have to sit down and ask them, then you are probably rushing things. These are all things you learn about over time in a relationship, not through some artificial conversation to decide whether or not you are good marriage material. I'm just picturing some horrible 2nd or 3rd date with a desperate-to-marry woman who is all trying to subtly work these questions in. I just can't imagine a relationship would even get to the point where marriage was an option if you fundamentally disagreed on many of these points, but perhaps I underestimate what people are willing to put up with to not be alone. 

 

I actually enjoyed the forum responses of this article more than the article. My favorite suggested questions from readers being, "How do you feel about an open marriage?" and "Is there anything you haven't told me?" (talk about a can of worms) and "Have you ever been with a prostitute?" - people are getting into the nitty gritty in the forums!

Sometimes I get in these phases where I feel like there's too much stuff in our house, too much clutter, too much junk. And then I engage in one of my favorite activities - going through stuff and picking out stuff to get rid of. This is a chore I find pleasing for several reasons.

 

One reason is that it feels good to be decisive. In other areas of my life, I tend to mull things over a bit, weigh the evidence and then decide. When going through stuff, I just make decisive cuts rapidly and with ease. I've been doing this long enough that I know my cut or keep safety zone. There's stuff that it's obviously time to get rid of, stuff that you'll obviously keep, and then stuff that you're not sure about (usually useless stuff with sentimental value). When something falls into the latter category, I might leave it for next time. Like with certain clothes, I might put them "on deck" for the next clean out. If I haven't worn them or even thought of them since the last time I decided to keep it around for sentimental reasons, then I cut it. Yet, there are some things that I just can't bring myself to get rid of even though I will probably never have use for them again. For example, I have several awesome vintage dresses that no longer fit me and probably never will. They could fetch a good price on ebay, but I'm not willing to part with them. They're too unique. When encountering the wall like this, I just accept it and let it go. Same with costumes. I put so much into them that I can't ever bear to give them away even though I will probably never use any of them again. Maybe when I have kids and have no time to make costumes I'll start recycling them.

 

For a long time, I had a hard time giving up clothes, but the one way I've found to feel good about this is to offer them up to my younger sisters. They take what they want and then I give the rest away. And usually they gravitate to the pieces that I was most reluctant to give up, so it makes me feel good to know that those articles of clothing are still "in the family" instead of just sitting forlornly on some thrift shop store.

 

The one thing that I don't like about de-cluttering is the guilt that comes with giving away stuff other people give you. Like sometimes my parents will give me stuff for christmas or something that I have absolutely no use for or interest in. Witness the stuffed animals, the quilted floral purses, you know the genre. I usually end up keeping those things around for a year out of guilt and then giving them up - they just take up room and someone should be using them! But I feel guilty that whoever spent money on this and now I'm just getting rid of it. I hate that feeling. I try to squash it down. It kind of reminds me of when I was a kid and sometimes I would throw away half my sandwich or part of my lunch or whatever and I'd feel all guilty and hope that my mom didn't find out somehow.

 

Anyway, last night, I did some major cleaning. It started off with me cleaning out the fridge because there were tons of little pieces of holiday leftovers in tupperware or whatever that needed to go. From there, I suddenly felt the urge to get some stuff out of my life. I cleaned out the downstairs closet getting rid of boxes and old odds and ends like a screeching monkey toy and Emerald Downs replicas. Then, in the upstairs bathroom, I went through my huge hordes of bath and body products. The area under my sink is now clean and organized and free of old nailpolishes and that peach body spray I bought back in my sophomore year of college! It feels GOOD! I picked out a bunch of old clothes to take with me to California when I visit my sisters next month. I have a goodwill pile now for stuff I don't use, never used, will never use.

 

I feel cleansed when I get rid of useless posessions. That's the other reason I like to do this chore. It makes me feel lighter, less weighed down, less cluttered in my brain. I always worry about collecting too much stuff because what happens to it when I'm gone? It makes me uncomfortable to think about things I care about, that made up my life, just floating out there in the ether, in the trash or whatever. Yet, that's inevitable, and so I try to keep the physical objects I care about down to a minimum so that I have less to lose. That's sort of weird, I guess, but something I often think about. Next up! The upstairs closet!

I have a new bedtime buddy - a hot water bag! Since we started going out, my chronically cold feet have perplexed and irritated poor Mark. I don't know why or how, but I have VERY cold feet and they take forever to warm up. In an effort to warm them up, I often try to milk his heat by putting my so-called (by him) Ice Dogs all over his warmth. For this, I have been dubbed The Succubus™.

 

Mark has tried many cures on me over the years - CozyToze Slippers (wearing them around the house, my feet get too hot; plus they smell funny when you microwave the rubber sole. And who wants to wear slippers in bed?), ThermoWax Warm Cream (total snake oil - the instructions indicate that you should rub your feet with the cream for 5 minutes. And then you're supposed to wait 30 minutes? totally bogus), clamoring for me to keep the feet off of him (this only makse me laugh evilly and want to do it more), etc.

 

And yet. Finally. After lo these many years, he brought home a hot water bottle from Walgreen's. I had been randomly talking about how warm and comfy those things were when I was a kid and had a stomache or whatever. I was surprised to learn he had never experienced the hot water bag. He went on making fun of how the hot water bottle is totally old lady until he had an epiphany - what about the hot water bottle...for the Ice Dogs!?! It totally worked. It's very warm and cozy, easy to implement (i.e. no walking downstairs to use the microwave) and it just warms up the bed in general. Now my Ice Dogs are Hot Dogs!

 

Just like the Mighty Bright light* before it, the Bedtime Buddy has proven to be helpful to our relationship.  Like a really mediocre band once said, "It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise." 

 

 

So. Just checked out the Top 100 Tracks of 2006 according to Pitchfork and I haven't heard of most of the tracks, let alone most of the bands. I don't consider myself all that up on what's going down in music, but I do feel like I know lots of people who are into music. I feel like I should know more of the songs on the list. Instead, I know only 11. 11! Barely over 10%. Here are the ones I know:

 

#97 "Roscoe" by Midlake - This album is better than their previous, but I personally think the song "Head Home" is the best track on the album. I mean, it references a Paul Auster book!

 

#95 "S.O.S." by Rihanna - This track is ubiquitous if you listen to KUBE. Meh. It's fine.

 

#86 "Sweet Talk" by Spankrock - I know this album because Roger introduced it into the mix. I like the pure RAW of Spankrock. I was supposed to see them live, but I got plastered during the opening act and ended up walking home in the rain with Mark, while fighting, instead. Ya, lame.

 

#80 "Promiscuous" by  Nelly Furtado, feat. Timbaland  - This song bugs the shit out of me for clearly not understanding the definition of the word promiscuous in the least. However, there are a few lines in this song that I love. First off, when Timbaland says, "Wait! I don't mean no harm/I can see you with my t-shirt on." - I like that line. I guess because, well, wearing a guys' shirt is pretty sexy. You know,

like, afterwards, when you throw it on and it still smells like him...Yeah, that. Any guy who gets that, and finds it sexy too, AWESOME. And I also love Timbaland's intonation/flow on lines like "It's ok, It's alright/I got something that you gon' like" and "Girl, I'm a freak you shouldn't say those things." Anyway, I guess what I'm getting at is that Timbaland is the best part of this song.

 

#75 "When You Were Young" by The Killers -  I agree with Mark that this is the best song on the new album and that the new album isn't all that great. That said, I'm not totally crazy about the actual lyrics of this song, they don't quite deliver on the excellent mood created by the song in general and the resonance of the words "when you were young." I really want this song to be better than it is. 

 

#61 "Woke Up New" by The Mountain Goats  - Mark first played this song for me when we were driving around Phoenix, lost, looking for a Mexican restaurant after staying up all night. I think the singer of this band may have a love it or hate it voice. It's kind of thin and a little desperate, which I love. This song, well, it kinda breaks my heart. It's totally distills the raw, scraped out hollow feeling of fresh heartbreak. But it also captures the feeling of freedom that is sort of laying underneath the sadness, waiting for its chance to bust out, when a relationship ends. His voice sounds exactly like I've felt when completely crushed by love.

 

#53  "Thursday" by Asobi Seksu. - Went to see the show at the Chop Suey on Mark's behest. Not terribly familiar with them besides that, but the show was enjoyable.

 

#45 "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce. - So, I know this one because of KUBE, of course. I don't usually much care one way or another about Beyonce, but I do actually really like this song. Something about how she uses her voice on the chorus is different than her other songs and I like the line "You must not know 'bout me." I guess I like this song (and that line) because it reminds me of when you date someone who's a total dick but he kinda has you thinking, no matter what he does, that he's so awesome that you can't leave, that you would never find someone that cool again. And then, one day, you wake up, and suddenly realize, no, that is NOT TRUE. I'm the one who is better than him and he should be the one trying to keep me. I'm OUT.

 

#20 "Mr Me Too" by Clipse, ft. Pharrell. Another song I know 'cos of Roger. I like the beat of this song and the "whatevs" they're throwing out at the rap cliche of one-upping.

 

#18 "The Funeral" by Band of Horses. This is the best song on the album in my opinion, and I really like this album. When I first got it, I just listened to it over and over. The sound of it is so rich.

 

#1  "My Love" by Justin Timberlake. - You'd have to be dead to not have heard this song. Your mom has probably heard this song. This song rocks, no lie. Pitchfork's blurb about it, though, is kinda stupid. Here's an excerpt:

 

"The thing is, "My Love" wasn't made to please hipsters or blow up the internet. Timbaland, and his unsung protégé, Danja, wanted to make the song of the year and got us by default. Their audacious synthesizer fury turned JT's little valentine into sentimental napalm. You want his love? You're melting in it. Yes, T.I. called himself "candle guy," but "My Love" still won, proving that even the coolest artists (and coolest songs) don't have to always be so cool. "

 

I hate how they have to add caveats about "coolness" to justify choosing this song as number one. Since when is JT not cool? Did you not see SNL? Have you not seen that dude dance?! What is your idea of cool? A unkempt indie rocker with a highwater pants and a t-shirt two sizes too small? This list just suddenly revealed to me why I haven't heard most of the songs on it. Ok, Ok. I will allow that the term "sentimental napalm" is a pretty evocative description of this song. Sheesh.

 

Anyhow, the list has links to all songs so you can hear them for yourself. How many of them do you know? I need a metric by which to measure my cultural awareness.

The holidays are now officially over, and I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted. Many good times were had: friends, parties, food and libations, presents, downtime at home.  Now it's time to get back to business. And to beat Super Princess Peach!