I’ve been thinking about habits lately and trying to break a few. It’s really hard! With habits, it’s like you’re in some kind of fugue state and don’t even realize what you’re doing – it’s like some primitive lizard part of the brain is controlling you and you’re higher brain is just along for the ride. I have a lot of habits, but here are three I’m willing to share with the public.

1. Bubble Breaker or Tetris. I go back and forth between these two games on my phone but I spend probably at least 20% of my waking time playing one of them. Mostly, I play while I watch TV. If I try to watch TV while not playing, I feel like the TV doesn’t hold enough of my attention and I find myself looking around for my phone. I can’t really enjoy just sitting back and watching a show anymore – I get antsy to use the phone. I will also play the game a lot when I am feeling anxious about something. It helps me zone out and not get worked up into a worried frenzy. It’s totally like a pacifier. This whole deal only started about 6 months ago and I find it so annoying. Like why did I have to go and get a new habit? It drives Mark crazy because I will not see something on the TV show, and he’ll be like “Did you see that?”, and I’ll be like “No, don’t worry about it”, but it’ll be such a big deal to him for me to see it that he’ll have to rewind and I concede that this makes me a bad TV watching companion. One time I was talking on my phone and actually “woke up” to find myself looking for my phone to play Tetris while talking on said phone. That was kind of a wake up call. But only for like a day.
   

2. Obnoxious gum chewing – now this is one of the few habits I have that brings me intense pleasure. I can’t say why, but I enjoy the shit out of chewing gum loudly, blowing huge bubbles and cracking and popping the gum. I can easily do this for a good half hour. The only downside of this habit is that other people find it really annoying. If I chew some gum at work, I have to remind myself to chew like a normal person. Mark hates my gum chewing ways so I mostly reel it in around him. Sometimes when he’s not home, I’ll get excited and think to myself OOOH and go get some gum and crack it all loud to my heart’s content.

3. The worst habit of all time – it’s so fucking dumb and I’ve been doing it forever. I bite the insides of my cheeks. I contort my mouth in weird and strange directions that are not at all flattering so that I can get at a further reach of the mouth. I will bite my cheek until it HURTS, until it BLEEDS, until I have given myself a headache. And yet it is so compulsive that I have to concentrate so very hard not to do it. The second I think I’ve nipped it in the bud and stop concentrating on not doing it and move on to thinking about something else, then I find that I’m doing it again! There are times when I’m more apt to do it than others – while driving or reading, after eating, when I’m trying to fall asleep, when I’m bored, when I’m concentrating on something else like work. I find it embarrassing and try to remind myself not to do it in public. Mark will chastise me for doing it and try to get me to stop. The only real antidote is to chew gum.  But, as explained above, that’s its own problem. I've actually become convinced that this is genetic - I've noticed that several of my sisters do it too!  That means it will be even harder to stop.

Some habits I’d like to have but don’t:

Exercising regularly
Not eating French fries
Returning phone calls
Opening my mail
Complaining only in my head (not out loud to others)
Vacuuming 

If you are not a regular coffee drinker and you uncharacteristically decide to get a latte because you forgot breakfast and there is a Starbucks conveniently located in the lobby of your new building and the barista is all like, "I accidentally made you a double shot, is that ok?" then you should definitely say "No, that is not ok, please make me a new one." I have been AMPED and SHAKY since 10 am. On the upside, I wasn't hungry until about 10 mins ago.

Tina is good at 40 x 365. Her concise summaries are tinged with melancholy and small but telltale details. I wish she would write a pithy ode to me (oh, but only if it was a positive report). It suddenly occurs to me that this is probably why she only writes about people we don’t know – so she can be honest.
 

*Man, I can’t do 40 words or less! Tina, you make it look effortless. Seriously, Tina, I like these things and look forward to them every day. They’re like mini-poems.

If you like brainteasers, then you'll probably like this online game. Basically, you find yourself in a fantasy landscape and you need to figure out which actions will get you out. I find it maddening and awesome - I've never seen another Web game like it. I'd encourage you to try it if you are in the market to kill an hour or two.